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Mr. Bad Example

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Haha, oh, wow. [04 Oct 2007|02:13pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I definitely forgot that I even had this thing, still.

Shit, I'll post, why not?

It's all the same; maybe that's why I don't post anymore.  I actually do have a few things to talk about, but it's nothing of major importance.

Mom and dad are fighting, and I have little doubt that a divorce is probably somewhere just over the horizon.  It's probably for the best, but who knows.  Justin (brother) is a senior in high school, and soon, he's going to be going off to college.  It's weird; I remember when he used to be my "little brother" - now, he's 6'3", almost eighteen years old.  He's doing well enough, though, I suppose; at least, as well as anyone stuck residing in such a bizarre, dysfunctional household can do.

As for me, quite a few breakthroughs.  I kind of had a nervous breakdown a couple of months ago ... kind of like throwing your brain in a washing machine for a couple of hours.  I had this sort of realization - an epiphany, if you will - that the reason that I've been out of school, working a shitty job, not driving, not moving out, not improving my diet, not anything ... fear.

I am scared to death to grow up.  I think it comes from that mentality that everybody is mortal, but if you never progress into adulthood, you don't have to die (Peter Pan Complex, you could call it).  But I've realized that, whether I like it or not, everyone has to grow up, and everyone has to die.  I don't want to be living at home forever, working a shitty $30,000 a year job, being overworked and underpaid for what I'm actually worth, and watching my friends grow up and lead their lives like normal people tend to do.

So, I'm looking for jobs that pay more, that have more opportunities, and have a higher command of responsibility.  Sadly, no callbacks yet, but this is, to me, understandable; Having been out of high school for almost six years, now, I haven't even achieved an Associate's Degree.  So it's time to change; I'll be taking a course or two each semester at Essex County College, starting in January, until I'm ready for the classroom environment.

Beyond that, I FINALLY have my road test for my driver's license tomorrow ('bout time, eh?).  I don't know how I'll do, as I've only had my restored permit for about three weeks, and I've driven a grand total of three times since.  Haven't even practiced parallel parking.  I'm a fine enough driver, and I am no doubt capable of passing; it's just been a while.  I haven't done any extensive driving since I was going to Rutgers University New Brunswick, and that was, again, about four and a half to five years ago.  Hopefully, parallel parking won't kick my ass, and I'll be able to get my shit together in order to get my license so I can practice driving everyday.  Take it from me, having your inherently-bitchy mother haul your fat ass to and from work on a daily basis is not only pathetic, it's excruciating.

Anyway, enough ranting from me.  I've all ready used about half of my damned lunch break here at work to expel all this shit from my system.

Have a nice day.  ^_^

«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[21 Dec 2006|12:38pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

This is the geekiest post ever.

But I've finally found the 4.2 OS for RIM BlackBerry 8700c handsets.

...I rock. More on this later, if anyone cares.

«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[06 Dec 2006|10:15am]
[ mood | excited ]

I feel decent. My computer is (finally) up and running (almost) - just need to hook up the other two HDs and play with the sound card and we'll be good to go (need to buy some speakers, too). However, though, all in all, I've got the following:

" AMD Athlon 64 X2 (2.4 GHz)
" ATI (forgot the model number) 512 MB video card - this is Matt's video card, the nVIDIA GeForce 7500 (256 MB) that I bought wouldn't fit in my damn case
" 2.0 GB DDR2 RAM (From OCZ)
" Sound Blaster Audigy
" Western Digital 74GB Raptor HD - 10,000 RPM ... sweeeeet! xD
" Two (2) Western Digital 160GB HDs - 7,400 RPM see above. ;P
" MSI Motherboard (again, forgot the model no.)
" Ultra Power Supply (see above.)

Ehh, there's other crap in there, too, I'll update when I have all of the exact specs.

«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[28 Nov 2006|11:52am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

So, I suppose I kind of owe everyone (all three of you who even read this anymore) an update, since I've been mostly missing in action these past couple of weeks (more like eleven months). So, here we go.

My uncle Bill passed away on Monday, November 14th. It was rough on us all, but he was ill and it was his time. The wake was that Friday, the funeral the folowing morning. I was one of the pallbearers, and it wasn't any easier than the first time for my other late uncle Bill. That Friday morning (November 18th), on my way into work, someone bumped into me and not only spilled coffee on my pants (wouldn't have been such a big deal if they weren't khakis), they knocked my Creative Zen Touch (that's a portable MP3 player for those not in the now) out of my pocket and onto the floor, cracking the screen in several places. It still works, but only about 25% of the screen stil displays text.

In the meantime, with how bizarre the weather has been, my allergies are kicking the shit out of me, and I find myself having bloody noses all the time and sneezing, joint cramps, etc. Nothing new, no big deal, I'll live.

Meanwhile, I just dropped $1,400 (so far) on a new computer, and not all of the parts have come in because ZipZoomFly fucked up the order; it's not so much that they botched it, but they held it because the billing and shipping addresses were different (shipping to my buddy Matt's house as he's building it for me), and declined to call him (not me) over it and left a message stating that I (not Matt) would need to call them (ZipZoomFly) and confirm that the order was not fraudulent (as a point of reference, these idiots called him 20 minutes before their offices closed). Jesus. $850 worth of parts, and they have to make shit difficult; the computer could've been built all ready. Schmucks.

«1 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[13 Nov 2006|11:11pm]
-Sighs.- One more hour, and the day finally fucking ends...
«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[13 Nov 2006|12:17pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

And on another quick note ... I cannot begin to describe how strange it feels to be updating this journal again. It seems almost alien to me, having not done so in such a long time. I'd forgotten what it looked like, how it moved and felt to navigate it, and how out-of-date some of the information on it was. Well, perhaps, I'll change that at some point in the (possibly near) future. Who knows.

Anyway, if you haven't added me to your MySpace profile, you ought to do so right now; it's http://www.myspace.com/mexican_radio, if you're that interested. Drop me a comment, drop me a message, drop me whatever.

«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[13 Nov 2006|09:34am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Sitting at my desk, at work ... bored to tears, and equally tired. Mom shook me from being somewhat asleep last nght because she does not know how to work a remote control.

>.<; -Grumble.-

In other news, work is still exhausting, and I haven't finished my coffewe, and this person on the phone is infuriating me. Seriously. I despise when people call in just to confirm settings on their handset that they ALL READY KNOW WORKS JUST FINE.

Rrgh. More updates to come later.

EDIT: You know, somehow, I just can't stay mad at someone who goes on for a good solid five or so minutes at the end of a call, telling me how talented and brilliant I am.

But God, I wish I could, sometimes.
«1 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[10 Nov 2006|09:09am]
Okay, new day. Time for a quick update. I'm sitting at work right now, so I don't have a ton of time, per se, but I'll get in what I can.

Essentially, things haven't much changed: I'm still at Cingular, same position (data support phone rep) - howeber, I am back on my former manager's team, which rocks, as my old manager was horrendous (more information on that later); I frequently find myself getting absorbed in Guitar Hero and Guitar Hero II; I have absolutely fallen in love with the music of Bad4Good (hit up the link for now, I'll describe 'em later); and, I've got a new cell phone.

My new handset is a Research in Motion BlackBerry 8700c, loaded up with handheld operating system version (still waiting for the 4.2 OS series to come out). For those of you who don't know/care what that means, I'll be providing that information to you all later, whether you give a shit it or not.

In the meantime, I need to get going for the moment. Duty calls.
«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[09 Nov 2006|12:11pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Whew. It's been quite a long time since I've updated this thing ... not going to now, either, but just letting everyone know that I'm alive, here. I might update later on tonight or tomorrow, we'll see.

«6 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

A Great Passing [19 Dec 2005|01:18pm]
Well, it seems that, after quite a battle with brain cancer, my Aunt Millie (mother's father's sister) has finally succumbed. She passed away yesterday, early in the afternoon, at St. Joseph's Hospice in Wayne, NJ. Heartbreaking, it is. My mother and grandmoter were very close with her; she was my mother's Godmother, and my grandmother has known her since they were 15 years old when she met my grandfather. She died quietly, and in no pain from what we can tell. She led a long life, passing away at age 79. She was loved by all she met and, of course, will be greatly missed. The funeral will be held Wednesday.
«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[11 Dec 2005|02:08pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]


New layout.

View in 1152 x 864, fullscreen, for best quality.

«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

Brilliant. [02 Dec 2005|09:10am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

Okay. From your mobile phone, go to http://wap.agilemobile.com/ (don't try it here, you'll never be able to load it because it uses WML web pages, and IE doesn't support it) and download the version of Agile Messenger there. It's a slightly older version of it (3.11 or something like that versus the latest 3.66) but it runs about the same, has almost all the same features, and a nearly identical GUI. Get that unlimited data plan from your provider and IM it up! If you need me at any point that it's actually online, I can be reached on my cell phone at AlbaXCore Cell when applicable.

For now, it's back to work. Be sure to tip your servers.

«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

Brilliant Idea [29 Nov 2005|10:51am]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

So I've decided that I want to use my phone for Instant Messaging and I'm not going to pay for text messages while doing so. Here's how you do it, for those who don't know:

- From your cellular service provider (should be Cingular, as far as I'm concerned, lol), have your line provisioned with wireless internet service for use right on your phone (usually fairly cheap; Cingular's unlimited plan is $19.99/month on top of your bill).

- Go online and find the appropriate IM client for your service (AIM, MSN, Y!M, ICQ, etc.) and download it right onto your phone (check to make sure that your phone is compatible before you take the time to download, though).

- Sign on and enjoy.

I recommend finding a universal client, such as Colibry or TipicME. You may also like Agile Messenger, or something of that nature. Agile Messenger works the best for me, but it ain't free, and I don't want to drop cash on it. Look around, you'll find something somewhere, I hope. If anyone happens to know something that would work with my newest acquisition, the Nokia 6682, let me know.

«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

Addendum [25 Nov 2005|09:37am]
[ mood | tired ]

In response to my last journal entry, jadeempress (whom I very much admire and adore) had the following to say:

"Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time of sharing, loving, caring, and family, but that doesn't mean it is for everyone. And just because it isn't for one person doesn't mean that person ought to take it upon themselves to ruin in for others."

I certainly don't disagree, but I do have a response to that, as can be read here...

Look Into the EyeballCollapse )

My apologies. I suppose that, perhaps, I should've been more specific than the grand "fuck off" that I spilled out yesterday.

«1 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

Public Service Announcement [24 Nov 2005|04:20pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

For all those of you that think Thanksgiving is a time of sharing, loving, caring, and family...Collapse )

«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

Tell me this isn't amazing. [21 Nov 2005|01:35pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Once upon a midnight dreary,
While I pr0n surfed, weak and weary,
Over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot XXX galore'.

While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark,
Suddenly there came a warning,
And my heart was filled with mourning,
mourning for my dear amour.

"'Tis not possible!", I muttered.
"Give me back my free hardcore!"

..... Quoth the server, 404.

~ Anonymous

«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[17 Nov 2005|11:07am]
[ mood | quixotic ]

You know, I often wonder why people like myself will hustle across a crowded room, running like idiots to take an elevator one floor up.

«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[14 Nov 2005|07:15pm]
For those who actually care, this site has been reformatted. I've changed the font and the cursors, as well as the resolution. The recommended screen resolution for this LJ is now 1152x864, not 1024x768.
«2 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

So... [07 Nov 2005|02:30pm]
[ mood | numb ]

I'm sitting back at work again. Exhausted. And I feel numb; very numb. Everything just seems to be cruddy right now (well, most things, at least). I feel very lonely; it seems like I'm so underqualified to have friends sometimes, even though I consider myself to be a nice guy. I bend over backwards for people, and get pretty much nothing in return, as if I'm diseased or something. I buy people things; I pay for their shit when they're short on cash and loan them money; I'm always available to listen to a problem that someone needs to talk about...the list goes on. And I still get used and treated like shit. I hate that nobody ever has time for me anymore, these days.

Things at home are becoming more and more tense, as well: my father has a horrible cough and has two fractured fingers; my mother is becoming extremely bitchy (well, she's been for the past 19 years or so, from the best of my observational skills) because her job is stressing her more and more everyday; my brother just has these issues where he constantly finds the need to be rude, annoying, obnoxious, and rebellious (then again, he's not even 16 yet, so I suppose that can be expected) just to be the center of attention and grate people. A couple of friends seem like they never have time for me, nor do they include me in any sort of atypical activities; that is, something other than going to the mall or shooting pool or something.

I don't know; maybe I just annoy everybody. Maybe I just need to stay out of everyone's way for a while. Maybe, the reason that I sometimes feel so empty is because nobody wants me around...? Is my own misfortune my own fault?

«5 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

[28 Oct 2005|01:43pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

My fucking card just got confiscated by the damn ATM... -Sighs.-

«1 blessed those whose hearts grow faint»«bless the soldier, bless the saint»

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